Secrets
by drmsr4drmrs
Summary: Sam just had to go and open


** A/N: This is written from Dean's POV so hope its not too confusing!**

What's wrong with him? Did he not know that this would happen when he stuck his big nose in someone else's business? Now I have to go and save him, yet again, because of that big mouth of his! I'm getting so tired of this, now we might have very well lost one of the best things that has manifested itself to us, our very own personal angel. Damnit Sam! Now I have to go and console said angel, so that maybe they could move on from this!

It's not like I meant to tell Sam that I may or may not be having feelings for Cas, and those maybe feelings may or may not be strictly platonic. It was a slip up. A _very_ drunk slip up, mind you. I didn't think Sam would remember once he woke up out of a alcohol induced slumber, but I definitely didn't think that he would go and blab his big mouth to said angel.

Now I don't know what to do. Do I call him down and tell him that Sam was just playing, and that what he said was meant as a joke? Do I ignore the situation period and tell him about the case they were currently working on? Or did I finally man up and tell him that lately I have been thinking that for the first time in my life I find himself attracted to a guy and I don't know what to do about it? Of course that is a lie, I know exactly what I want to do about it. Been thinking about how his lips would feel on mine, how I want to press them together and finally get a taste of the angel. No use just thinking about him, I need to get this over with.

"Hey Cas, uh..I really need to talk to you man, so maybe you could come on over?"

There that sounded…alright it sounded pathetic, but no one needs to know that.

"Cas man, come on I called you three minutes ago. I need you to get your feathery butt down here so we can talk."

That's great! He is going to act like a teenage girl who is embarrassed for the first time. The longer I have to wait for him and coax him like a scared little kid, the more I'm going to ring Sam's neck!

"Cas, look man, I know what Sam said but we have a case that I could really use some help with. So if you could please…"

"Hell Dean."

Damnit, I hate that. No matter how many times he comes out of nowhere, I still can't stop jumping like a girl!

"Took you long enough man, I have been calling you for ten minutes now! What took so long?"

"I have other things I have been attending to Dean, and for the record, you only summoned me six minutes ago. What do you need?"

I'm so not prepared for this. I mean how could I be? There he is standing so close, tilting his head like he is trying to figure something out, what do I say? Where should I start?

"Sit down Cas, we gotta clear the air here man. Look I know what Sam told you, and believe me I'm gonna kill him, but we have to sort this out so we can move on."

There that wasn't a bad start. Why is he looking at me like that, and why won't he sit the hell down?

"Cas, sit the hell down! Good, now I know Sam opened his big mouth and told you I had some secret gay crush on you, but come on you know how Sam is. He's a girl, a big romantic girl who thinks looking at someone for more than 5 seconds means you like them or something."

"Dean, I..I don't know what.."-

Here it is, here is when he tells me that he doesn't know what to say but he isn't interested. It doesn't matter there are other fish in the sea right? Well none that are like Cas, but whatever, it's not like it's the end of the world or anything. No that crisis was adverted already.

"You know what Cas, it's cool man, let's just forget about it and talk about the case. We think we came across a shape shifter, but I'm-"

"Dean we are going to discuss this, gay crush that you were talking about."

"No we aren't. Now, I was thinking it was a shape shifter, I'm not sure though with what Sam found out. He called…"-

"Dean I said we are going to discuss this "crush" you say you have on me. I know I don't know proper etiquette, when it comes to discussing emotions, but we are going to talk about this."

Damnit fine if angel boy wants to discuss this then what the hell I'll go along with it, its Sammy's fault that I'm in this mess in the first place.

"Ok you want to talk about this? Fine! Yes I told Sam that I might be thinking of you in ways, that is not strictly friendly, and that I have been having a hard time coming to terms with that. I mean fuck man, I have never once even looked at a guy, but then here you are looking like you do and I don't know man…I just I can't help but to think that yeah I want you. I want you more than a friend, I want to know what it would feel like to have my hands on you, to taste you, to have you want me back, but I'm not dumb. I know that you don't, so that's why we are going to put this behind us, chalk it up to me being over worked and move on!"

There I said it. I don't know whether to be relieved or embarrassed. I don't know what good this has done, opening up about my damn feelings but it's what Cas wanted so let's see how confused angel boy gets now.

"I don't know what to say Dean. I…I think that.."-

Man, see, I knew Cas would do this, stuttering like a damn fool, face all scrunched up. It's what he gets though, told him we should..

What the fuck, what is he doing. Oh my GOD he is kissing me? What they hell! Cas likes him too? When did that happen? Why am I thinking about this instead of kissing him back, it's time to show this angel how I feel.

"Maybe Sam wasn't wrong in telling you I had a thing for you, huh angel?"

"Dean, Sam never told me that, he only said that you needed to talk to me about a case. I'm glad you told me though. I have wanted to kiss you for so long now, but you always seemed attracted to women, I never knew you might feel the same as me."

Is he telling me that he has wanted me, that all this time I could have this perfect blue eyed angel if only I had shown interest? Well fuck me!

"It's ok Cas, at least we both know now."

That's all that matters now. Guess I can't kick Sam's ass, looks like I owe him for getting me to tell Cas my secret. That's alright with me.


End file.
